Listening

 

A large part of solving problems involves listening.

Listening is a skill that many people do not really have.

They are busier thinking of what they will say next than they are paying attention to the person speaking.

Having a single minded focus does not allow for making rational decisions. Nothing has only one point of view. Some views may be kinder or more civilized, but it is worth the time it takes to actually hear the other sides.

The art of listening can be taught, but because it really is an art, some people are unable to understand it.

And some people simply do not want to learn or understand it. I think these people understand, on some level, that their view is flawed and are not willing to acknowledge that some changes should or could be made.

All solid relationships must have some way of exchanging and compromising on their thoughts, beliefs, and cultural diversity. Otherwise the base is so volatile and shaky there is bound to be a collapse.

The abused

 

The one good thing about the worst of times is that, sometimes, you discover who really has your back.

Good people pop up with offers of all sorts of help from lawyer fees to places to stay.

People come out to stand behind you because they know who you are.

You are the person who helped them when it counted. 

You are the one who is never too busy.

You are the one calm voice amidst the turmoil.

And you are being falsely accused by an evil creature who will stoop as low as necessary if it accomplishes their aim.

You were the abused one, the one whose weight dropped down to almost nothing, the one who tiptoed through his own house for fear of the wrathful temper that waited behind closed doors, the one who homeschooled the child, did the grocery shopping, the cooking and cleaning while working a full time job and more to pay the bills.

And even in the midst of this abuse, you were the one who cared for and loved the abuser.

If there is any justice in this world, all the accusations against you will fly back in the face of the abuser and you will finally be free.

Aging

 

The hardest part of aging is that the heart and mind do not match the body.

Anathema

 

Sometimes I don't know how people can expect to test others with any degree of accuracy without knowing how they think.

For example: show me a triangle and a square and ask me if they are the same or different and, of course I will say different.

Now show me two squares and ask me if they are the same or different and I wonder if you mean different from the former triangle and square, or different from each other?

Minds approach problems from so many different angles.

The New York Times has a game called Connections. I can often see three or four connections depending on the context of the word I'm looking at.

Einstein said, "The true sign of intelligence is imagination." I like this, but people who think outside the box are anathema to test makers.

Princess Charming

 

There really are people out there whose life revolves around being mistreated or misused.

Whether they do it with sarcasm or simply as a play for pity, it is the same result. 

They are in jeopardy if their life is good, so they never portray it that way.

Without this misery in their lives they have no repertoire!

After twenty or so years I begin to notice a trend that makes me doubt the veracity of everything they say.

There is no doubt this person is an emotional vampire who feeds off misery of every kind even if they have to make it up.

They will swoop in to help you . . . for a while, but eventually everything turns back towards them.

Their world is one of imagined slights, overstated fears, hysterical pain and constant weeding out of those who no longer serve their purposes.

In the end no one is charming enough to put up with all of this.

Narcissists

 

People bandy about the word Narcissism, but it connotes a terrible and devastating personality disorder.

Narcissists are charming people, they have to be in order to get the attention they need and they need an infinite amount of attention. They are black holes disguised as people sucking up everything in their wake.

The terrifying part of that charm is its indiscriminate use of other people as bait to snag what they need from life.

A true narcissist will spend a lifetime using other people. Once a narcissist is through with you there may nothing left but a depleted shell emptied by a person who only knows how to take, a virtual vampire of human emotions.

No one can avoid the devastation a narcissist wreaks forever. Even their child will become a victim eventually.

Unfortunately many narcissists are very intelligent manipulators who are able to hide their true selves from the broader world almost indefinitely. It is mostly those who care about them or love them deeply who suffer. The rest of the world simply falls into their trap unknowingly feeding the monster that stands before them, brilliant, beautiful and successful.

Attention!

 

I have been watching some of those pseudo scientific movies on Roku where people try to debunk or prove things.

My faith in their thoughts began to waver when they said that a man did not react to a rod supposedly flying right by his ear. They seem shocked that he did not react like he would to a pesky fly or mosquito. 

For one thing both flies and mosquitoes buzz.

For another I have sat right next to my husband on a couch and he has failed to notice that I cut over 14 inches off my hair. From below shoulder length to pixie length

Not all people are all that aware of what is going on around them. 

This same man, my ex-husband did not notice a 96 inch sectional missing from our 12 by 10 foot living room for two days.

Seeking

 

I wish I believed the way I once did.

There was a time when it was so simple.

But now as the end of my life draws closer I find myself not believing.

I don't think anyone can make you believe. I've heard all the stories, sang all the hymns, been to so many churches, so many retreats, done so much praying and meditating and listening.

I believe in goodness and a power greater than me, but I can't put a face on it.

I want a faith in something that I can wrap around me, drown myself in and know like I know my breath comes from my lungs and my blood is pumped by my heart.

I want a faith that never wavers and I guess that is asking a lot.

But that is what I have always been seeking.

Just waiting

 

Sometimes I have the eerie feeling that this is all only a dream, or a story someone is writing.

Then I expect something to happen.

I'm not quite sure what, but it seems like it will be positive.

I live each week expecting the unexpected, whatever it will be.

I'm never disappointed, 

Or rewarded.

I am just waiting.

Up to date

 

I have not been the same since Covid.

After sitting or lying down for nearly a month my knees have rebelled against sitting in little low chairs, or really any chairs at all. They dislike remaining in one position for too long.

I am always tired, even after sleeping nine hours!

And I seem to be even more susceptible to all of the germs in my class.

Just this week I have been able to do more than the basics around my apartment. I've worked on an acrylic painting and am taking advantage of a Christmas gift to learn some water color painting. 

Still, anything other than work on a work day is beyond me. I don't have the energy or stamina to grocery shop or do anything else. I come home, collapse into my recliner and often fall asleep.

Arrogance

 

I think arrogance might be the most offensive of all attitudes

Everything about it, the haughty smiles, the dismissive way of ignoring others, the assumption that they know best, are the best, is all disgusting.

Many politicians are arrogant in their belief that with the right backing and enough money they can do anything. 

Arrogance is usually accompanied by ignorance and often used by sociopaths to force themselves upon those around them.

It saddens me to see people taken in by arrogance thinking it means someone really knows.