Meant to be

I try to live the way I say I live, but sometimes it is not easy.

I used to always say I didn't worry, because worrying is just a way of fooling your body into thinking it is actually doing something when it isn't. Now I have to admit I do worry.  Not because I want to though. I worry because I want something so badly I would rather die than not get it. That is a powerful want.

I'm trying to replace this worry with positive thoughts. I am consciously telling myself that I am your woman and we will be together soon and nothing can interfere with that. I have to be honest, this requires all my concentration and belief to do.

It means I trust you more than I've ever trusted anyone in my life and that is hard for me. I've had a lot of disappointments in my life and they hurt. My way of dealing with that has always been to expect nothing then the disappointment is a little less.

Now I am trying to show my faith in you by letting go of all my old destructive habits and replacing them with positive trust. I can only do that because our love has shown me miracle after miracle the past few months, so why not expect that to continue? 

I truly believe we are meant to be.