Grief

I don't believe anyone is ever really prepared for the grief they feel when someone they love dies.

Knowing that we all will die, or that someone has a terminal illness and will die sooner, still does not cushion the intense feelings that burst up around us like an all enveloping burst of steam when the reality of their absence finally hits us. 

Knowing is not the same as experiencing.

Over time the grieving process bounces around from despair, to anger, to disbelief. How can someone who was here beside me and whose body I still see, not be here anymore? Where did they go? How will I survive the black hole inside of me? Grief explodes like Old Faithful over and over again in incomprehensible waves that must simply be endured even when it feels like it is drowning you and taking away everything you held fast to before.

Eventually the pain becomes duller, but that can take months, or years, depending on so many things. You simply have to allow it to run its course and be understanding of those grieving. 

In the end the memories deep inside of us keep the beloved close. I believe a soul is kind of like the energy of a body. It moves into the world around us where both body and soul eventually become part of what they always were and always will be - everything.

This gives me comfort.