Enough

 

People seem to love being joiners. They want to be part of something, sometimes, anything. It isn't rare in nature. There are herd mentalities, flock mentalities, schools of fish, religions, political parties, all sorts of ways to protect yourself by joining in with others of like minds, abilities, whatever. 

Unfortunately people also love attention. They like to be noticed, to stand out, to be special. Fortunately, or unfortunately, these two things sort of clash. It's hard to be just like everyone else and stand out. Teenagers aim for it. They are known for bucking the system just like all their friends, but I would hope adults might see through this.

They don't. People want to be "in style." They want to belong to exclusive groups, particular schools, millionaire and billionaire clubs. Joining is a national past time. We foster it from preschool on, because it is easier to control people who follow the crowd. They are swayed by the people around them and less likely to break out of the mold -- until they do. Then beware the frustrated, unhappy stray who suddenly goes berserk and shoots people, or runs them down with their vehicles. 

A few might simply rise to the top and run the show, but it is not possible for everyone to do this.

Or is it?

When I taught preschool we had people observe us for many different reasons. Student teachers had to be evaluated, we had to be evaluated, people wanted to see what our school was like before they enrolled their children.  One of the best criticisms we ever received was from a well respected, well educated person who complained, "You have a class full of leaders." What they meant was we had fifteen happy, outspoken, well adjusted little three year olds who were eager to contribute and participate in whatever we were doing.

It was no accident. 

People have bad days, but we made sure there were acceptable alternatives always available that made shaming unnecessary. In all the years I taught we only had one child who could not make it and he came from an extremely intense family situation. Of course these were three year olds coming from a loving family to a loving school. The world isn't like that for adults.

Bewildered adults join in, follow the leader, try not to make waves and still rise to the top. 

I think we need to redefine the top. It really and truly is not the same for everybody. Instead of aiming for a lot of money, bigger houses, faster cars, more possessions than those around you, what if the top was simply having enough to be happy?

Enough. It implies enough balance, happiness, food, joy, whatever it takes to make your endorphins content. This kind of success comes from within. People who find this may join things, or follow along for a while, but they are not driven to it by something that is not natural to them. Competition is a dis-ease spread by those who think they will profit from it.