The road to safety

Everyone has a dark side.

Some people have terrible dark sides, they are the serial killers, the abusers, those who torture the innocent.

Most of us just have something we'd rather other people not know about. 

Feelings are sacred parts of me, each one a testament to who I am, where I've been, what I've done and what's been done to me.

It is easy to change clothes, a little harder to change actions and almost impossible to change feelings.

Feelings were burned into me when I was so young my only recourse was finding a way to survive some of them.

Separating myself from pain by escaping inside of me, the only place I can go to hide, or multiple personalities, or replicating the way it feels into something I can do to myself is the last resort.  Nobody can hurt me more than I can, so I can survive anything.

These are the first steps towards safety.  If I am lucky many others come over time until that dark secret is just something I hide in the bottom of my closet because life is so good I don't really need it anymore.

It always comes back to finding the love.