Till Death We Do Part

I think the time has come and gone for legal marriages. It is obvious that many people mouth the words and pay no attention to their meaning. Perhaps this is a good thing, because in some cultures “until death we do part” can be arranged in most unpleasant ways. Divorce exists in our culture.

What woman today ever really expects to be divorced for not obeying her husband? How do you measure someone‘s ability to “love, honor and cherish?” Divorces are emotional things, but measuring emotions is hard, so we look for negative actions and end up destroying the image of one, or both people for what really amounts to what is now a broken business deal. They each want their share, or maybe more, of houses, bank accounts, and children and the children lose all the way around. They end up in broken homes with damaged views of the people who are the only security they have in this world.

What we could have is a contract that spells out up front what legal rights both partners have and will have should they have children, become ill, or decide to separate. It is a business deal, probably the most important one many of us ever make and it should be done with a clear head and with concise terms. It is already done by many people. This would simply make it a necessity for all people, including those who aren’t thinking clearly, or aren’t educated enough to consider it on their own.

Marriage, the way we think of it now, could still be through the churches or institutions that do them already. All the religious vows, fervent hopes and moral questions would be dealt with on this level, but the legal contracts, the government’s only part in them, would come first and separately.

Mediator’s would move from the tail end of these legal contracts to the front end, so that people entering into relationships are aware of what will happen if and when they are broken.

Instead of framing a generic license, how about framing our rules for living and loving?