The Game

Closing my eyes, breathing deeply, I merge into this moment. Listening, allowing the sounds and scents to fill me, flow through me, carry me away into another time, another place.

The rain patters gently against the open window. Soft rain, cozy, a million tiny reasons to gather closely, to avoid this wetness that we love! The fall breeze carries it inside and I feel the earthy coolness against my skin, smell the familiar dampness as it permeates every memory, wait for the sweet anticipation of what is to come.

Leaning back I feel the air gently flowing through me. In my nose and out my mouth, leaving an after taste that cannot be here, but I want to be here. That mysterious knowledge of another human being sharing the same breath, the same taste, the same space.

Straining to hear, I know the next sound will be sock-soft steps shuffling gently across the carpet. Floating towards me on the soap scented mists of a sacred shower still dripping drops. That place my feet stand every day with gratitude. A place where tears and water become one sweet shower of thoughts and memories.

The savoring game, how it reaches out, pulling me in, leaving me addicted to my own thoughts, my own memories, never more than a breath away. Called up by the magical mixing of wind and weather, rain and water in a world still living and loving all around me. A game that leaves me smiling and content except for tonight when a distant radio is turned up and that song tears me apart like it has never done before.

Too vulnerable, too open, to play these games tonight. Balance relies on the music being silent, its weight not tipping the scales. The music pierces my heart, too rich to be simply savored, but the rest? It is always the same.