Growing pains

 

Moving to a small town near family last year was a financial necessity, but also a huge cultural change. It wasn't a cultural shock. I knew what I was getting into, but I didn't quite understand all the fine points.

This has probably been the most difficult 18 months of my life. Starting with a back that spasmed for nearly a year, backed up by an inability to get new orthotics for over a year and in the midst of all this I broke a tooth and had to start treatments for anemia. 

And if that wasn't enough, somehow I, who never go into anyone else's apartment, and do not go into stores or shops ended up with bedbugs! I still don't know if I got them from the hospital or in the hallway that I walk through to get to my car. But I do know they are almost impossible to get rid of. Our building provides the service, but only every two weeks and in between I have to vacuum every surface and floor several times a day. And even doing that I have bites all around my neck area. The rest of me is covered in sweatshirts, long pants and socks pulled up over the pants. I have put a bed bug cover on my mattress, but my recliner is ruined.  I have vacuumed it so many times that the upholstery is ruined. My nephew is disposing of it for me as soon as he can get a truck and a permit to dump.  And even with all that vacuuming I have an occasional bug crawl out of it!

On top of all these aggravations is the matter of family relationships. I have two siblings living nearby. One is a rock. The other means well, but I think I finally figured out our problems.  She is still living the way we lived sixty years ago. She actually called me last night to tell me a certain actor was on the tv in case I wanted to see him. She "knew" he was my favorite. Yes, he was my favorite when I was fourteen. I left town and grew not just older, but up. She was left stranded when my mother and grandmother died, because she had never even gone to the doctor without one of them going with her. Her best friend has been the same since then too. She has not changed. She still likes the same music, the same colors, the same movies.

I have been gone from this town for the better part of fifty seven years and they were rich wonderful unique years. The person I am today is unrecognizable next to the person I was back then.

I think this past year has been a stretch for me. Now I have to grow into a more patient, understanding adult if I am going to be happy here.

One year

 

I am approaching my second birthday here and I realized today how far I've come. Not all at once and still not completely where I'd like to be, but so much better.

For one thing I can now shower without rushing through it and going straight to bed for fear my back will begin to go into spasms. Now I can do what any normal person would do -- just move on with my life.

I am cooking a little more. My freezer is full and my refrigerator looks like someone actually lives here. I have condiments, vegetables, and other assorted things in it.

I am painting again! And this is the thing I enjoy most of all. Whether I am making birthday cards for my children and grandchildren or paintings that people have requested, or even for me, I am dabbling in the arts again. Just dabbling, but that's all I've ever done.

I am able to do my own laundry and cleaning and even though it is stressful and wears me out, it gets done regularly.

I have worked out a sort of social system that works for me. I am nearly a hermit. I enjoy my own company and am not lonely if I'm not surrounded by people, but once in a while it is nice to do something with family and I have my sister, my nephew and my brother to do things with.

I have my new orthotics and in some ways my feet are much better, but there is still some adjusting to do. I've been hobbling for over a year and it's only been a week, so I have great hopes. 

I am happy here.