Do something you love

 

It isn't just what you say that matters. It is what you do.

If all you do is sit and moan, nothing will change. At least nothing for the better. 

There are people who simply do what is necessary to get by and while we all do that sometimes, if you make a habit of it, you miss a lot.

People need to figure out what makes them happy and do that!

That!

Whatever that is: playing with miniature dollhouses, or trains, playing guitar and singing, painting, crocheting, something that is fun to do even if it serves no other purpose. That is part of living.

There is no awards ceremony, that I am aware of, at the end of a life, that hands out certificates for the most work done. There are no martyr awards unless you are willing to die burning at the stake and settle for a paragraph in some distant history book. 

If we have children, we need to raise them so they understand how to get along in the real world. There is work, play, some meditation and some musing, but all one thing and not the others makes one a very dull, and unhappy, person.

Don't just do something.

Do something you love.

Family

 

I try not to over react when my crazy family does something unusual and by unusual, I mean odd, strange, weird, bizarre. 

Some of them are notable oddballs. They do things that are not only not in their best interests, but actually harmful to themselves. 

However it is not illegal to do a lot of crazy things.

It is also not funny, cute, or laudable in any way.

I have one relative who never answers their phone, responds to a text, or listens when anyone talks to them. I have been known to call them, listen to them talk and have them hang up before I get a chance to say why I called! They are not angry with me, they are just so self focused they don't seem to realize someone might call them for a reason.

Tonight took the cake though! My phone rang and I answered it. I repeatedly said, "Hello," and no one responded. I was almost ready to hang up when this person giggled and said, "I thought I was hallucinating. I forgot I called you then I heard this voice coming from somewhere."

This person has a job working with people and I wonder how that works out? 

Our phone call was a jumble of random stories that had little to do with anything I said, or asked. It made little sense. I felt like I was hearing pre-made responses randomly tossed out over and over.  I asked if they were on any medicine and was given only their normal prescription names. 

Now I have an ache deep in my stomach, a sense of foreboding, and the knowledge that there is nothing I can do about it. Experience has taught me that. Sometimes I wish I could just forget I have these people in my life, but it is not that easy.

Mobility

 

When you have an injury that leaves you unable to get around you are one step from a nursing home. I would rather be dead than go there.

I injured my left foot while the right one was healing and found myself virtually trapped!

My walker was five years old and never a very good one. Using it didn't help much. It left the palms of my hands bruised and every step was still agony. 

Necessity is definitely the mother of invention. I discovered I could scoot around on my desk chair and kitchen bar stool. Neither is made for that and neither worked very well on the carpeting, but they were fine for the kitchen and bathroom.

Thank goodness I had recently snugged up my living space, so most of what I need is not too far away, but there were still problems. I used a cane to reach the switch that turns the fan on and off and made a train when the groceries were delivered outside my front door. 

Using the cane, I hooked the groceries off the front patio, put them on the office chair and, sitting on the kitchen bar stool, pushed the groceries back to the kitchen where I put them away. The first time I did it, my sack fell off the front of the chair, the one with two dozen eggs in it, but not one broke!

Today my new walker came, a week early! It is the difference between night and day. I can get around my apartment. I can carry out my trash and get my mail. I can even get to my car! 

I will live to innovate another day!

How did you know?

 

How did I know?    

I didn't.

Yet I did and I did it just right.

Some people call it luck,

Others coincidence,

A few might say it's magic,

But I think it is just paying attention:

To feelings,

And yearnings,

And love flowing between

Those who care about each other.

Touching

 

I want to reach out

Hug you

Hold you

Make it better

But

Emptiness explodes inside me

Filling me with something 

I cannot touch

Cannot feel

It hurts more than I can explain

This wanting

To heal

Your grief

I feel but cannot touch.

Letting go

I have found myself drawn to her from the very beginning. Seeing her play hide and seek with her boy, watching her tirelessly chasing balls, convinced every yellow tennis ball was made just for her!

She has a great life. I don't think anything has been left out. Her parents let her sleep in their beds. They cook for her, take her on long walks every day, arrange their vacations so she can swim in the water wherever they go. And now they have taken the extra long road around her cancer, making sure the quality of her life is absolutely as good as it can be.

Today she will slide out of her large doggie body and into whatever comes next. She will do it at home, surrounded by love and peace, broken hearts and tears of sadness. She will not suffer. She will never suffer.

It is the final step in loving. It is letting go at the very last moment when that is the kindest most loving thing to do.

Maddie

Vibrant eyes

Smiling mouth

Galloping across the grass in radiant wonder

Her panting a mantra of joy

Her presence a comfort

Love on four legs.

Set free