Yes!

I have had to copy and paste any S's I wanted to type with my laptop keyboard for well over a year. That meant I had to find a capital S on the Internet whenever I wanted to use one. In between, as long as I didn't use the copy paste for anything else I could keep a lower case s on it.

My son told me he had a friend who used to remap his keyboard and change the use of the keys, but he wasn't sure how. He suggested I look on line.

It took a few days, but I did just that and found a program called Sharp Keys. I had to fish a bit in order to download it without any extraneous programs, but it was out there.

There were no instructions, but it was fairly straight forward. It took me four tries, in between each of which I had to restart the computer, but now my caps lock key is a fully functioning S.

Such a simple thing but it makes my life so much easier.

A very catty Christmas

I pulled last year's Christmas tree out of the box and noticed that about a third of it was flat from storage.

That worked perfectly for this year's plans, because this year I have a nearly eight month old kitten who is into everything.

She drinks from my bathroom lavatory, climbs up the side of the bed under the spread to sleep, and will only eat from her second hand martini glasses. My leather footstools and desk chair look like sieves.

I can only envision her knocking over my little tree and chasing the ornaments around the room.

I checked out a hanging Christmas tree on Amazon and not only was it expensive, but according to reviews it had a tendency to come apart in the middle.

I attached a binder clip to the back of last year's tree and hung it up. Now I have a sweet little three dimensional tree that appears to be coming through the wall.

Enjoying life

It is important to know what is important to you.

Otherwise you might go through your whole life doing things you don't really care that much about: things that may be important to other people: things that are important in the grand scheme of things: but not really high up on your list.

I know someone who likes to mow grass and scrub her kitchen floor on her hands and knees. These things are important to her. She often calls me to tell me how much time she spends doing them, as if looking for my admiration or approval, but they are just not important to me. I try to be nice, but I don't understand and have a hard time believing she feels this way.

I like to volunteer. I prefer volunteering in school libraries, but I just like doing things people need done, so they don't have to pay someone to do them. The floor mopper really does not understand why anyone would work for free.

The truth may actually be that I don't want to mop floors or mow lawns for any amount of money and especially not for free. If I had my way I would live somewhere without lawns (woods, beach, condo) and let someone else mop my floor if it needed it.

I find it really satisfying to help people learn to read, or like to read. I love working with Bestest on his books. Education is the most important job in the world, in my opinion, so anything I do for it makes me feel really good.

But for you, and evidently many others, this may not be true, so it is important to figure out where your passion is. That is the key to really enjoying life.

Blowing in the wind

Today is my birthday and I looked around, suddenly thinking, everything I own, everything about me is in this room.

How can a whole life be condensed to 425 square feet of space?

A second later I realized this is only one physical manifestation of my life, the hub.

The dearest, most valuable parts of life fit into a heart or brain, much larger and much smaller than a luxury studio apartment.

Almost anything I have in here can be lost and replaced as I know. I've done that already.

My eternity will be carried away on the wind except for what is left in the minds and hearts of those I have touched during my 67 years on earth.

Happy Thanksgiving

Today is Thanksgiving (and the day before my birthday) and I am grateful for so many things.

First and foremost I am thankful for my beautiful children and their children. Even though I don't see them as much as I might like I know they are safe, well loved, and cared for.

I am thankful for Bestest, my siblings, and my friends.

I am always thankful when I can pay my bills with relative ease, because that is not always the case. I am also grateful that I have a comfortable clean place to live, as much food as I want, or need, and enough clothing to be decent and warm.

I am thankful to have a good solid car and pretty solid health.

And finally I am thankful for hope.

Civilized

We have elected an American president who shuns all those things that represent civilized society. He is on tape gloating over how he can sexually abuse women. He has been recorded making crude, rude and blatantly awful comments about good people of all sorts.

Our president has been heard promising to do illegal things because he sees nothing wrong with them. He is backed by white supremists and the KKK. He finds little value in kindness, courtesy, or even science unless it furthers his every whim.

He and His people can commandeer our Supreme Court and states. They can threaten our news media. They can take away our already legislated rights.

But they cannot make decent, educated, civilized people respect them, so there can be no facade of respect while we struggle to retain our rights in the United States of America.

We have to tell it like it is and stand shoulder to shoulder with each other under a man who finds little value in everything we believe in.

Thanksgiving

I am going to spend my morning doing preschool crafts and being a surrogate grandma today.

I don't know how the child will feel. I hope he, or she, has as much fun as I will.

I can barely wait. I know I will love it.

Transitions

I belong to a club of women who like to get together, in small groups, and do things. We vary in age from 25 to my age and talk about everything from the Aztecs to zephyrs and a million things in between.

It is interesting how much we all have in common even with all our differences.

Last Saturday we sat around a pizza at the Lucca Grill talking about transitions and how they take place without us really noticing them, not even those that might seem big.

Things like: when did I stop kissing my child's toes, or when did we stop reading books out loud? 

There we sat, an accountant, an attorney, and me, all trying to remember the last time we held our child's hand to cross the street.

That may not seem important, but on the grand scale of motherhood they were pretty sweet times and it's hard to imagine those things can just disappear like a cloud fading into the atmosphere.

Rainbows and elves and Santa, oh my

Somewhere over the rainbow, as the world was turning dark, as hatred slithered along the valleys and slime began to creep upon the waters: light became the most treasured commodity of all.

Not the light of electricity, nor even witch"s fire, but a light so pure and rare that some might have deemed it magical. Where did this light come from you might ask?.

One big boy, standing in a line, a long line in a big commercial store.

Before him, right there in front of his eyes is his dream come true. And if he just stands there quietly, waiting for his turn, he will get to talk to Santa. He can hardly believe it and then . . .

it is his turn, All he needs to do is walk over there. Not far. Maybe just six little steps and he will be standing next to his hero. The man who makes toys for all the children in the world and delivers them on the night before Christmas. He knows this is true because his Daddy told him so, read him the story every year since before he can remember.

But he starts to cry and he can't move at all.  He is too full of wonder and awe . . . and that might have been the end of it all if his Daddy hadn't offered to go with him. Then, before Daddy could say another word, Santa's elf walked over, smiled at him and took his hand, and the elf was so nice he just went with her!

The next few minutes were so full of awe and love, understanding and compassion that the world became a little brighter. The hate retreated just a bit and the slime slithered back some.

It wasn't happily ever after. There were no trumpets announcing it to the world. No one in the back of the line even knew it happened, but the world was a little lighter, a bit better, than it had been before.

Bridges

Comfort zones, those places that wrap me up in memories and warmth and lure me into long periods of hibernation.

That doesn't mean they are bad places. It only means to be aware that not stepping out of them periodically can be dangerous to my growth.

Getting stuck in a comfort zone is like living in the zoo, or maybe even a museum. There are still things to see and do, but they get old after a while.

That doesn't mean they are not valuable. It only means the rotation is limited.

Most of the time, when I step outside my comfort zone, I discover it is only a bridge to a wonderful new experience. And if, once in a while, it is not, then at least it I can mark that bridge off my map and look for others.

I make a list of those things I am afraid of and new bridges appear in some unlikely spots on my map.

I never want to grow too old to go exploring.

Anticipation

Anticipation is the first present.

Before I ever open that big box in my kitchen I will shake it and thump it. I will read the return address and my name on the front. I will even try to lift it up and see how heavy it is.

I will go online again and again, looking at my wish list, trying to figure out if it could be one of those things. I will look them up and anticipate what I would do if I got them.

Eventually I have to peek inside. Just a quick peek, but it is enough to see this box contains something I didn't dare to dream of.

Now I am really excited. The anticipation is nearly killing me. I want to know all about it, so I try looking online again, but there are so many choices it really doesn't help.

I am enjoying this gift so much I can't imagine what it will be like when I actually take it out of the box and get to see it for real -- and set it up -- and play with it.

Each stage has its own anticipation to savor. I can stretch it out and out and out until it is actually my birthday.

Dream home

Knowing who people are takes more than fond memories. Every so often it becomes necessary to visit them in person and see who they are.

I know someone who used to live in my dream house, a lovely two bedroom house with extraordinary woodwork, crown molding, big windows, living room, dining room, sun porch, well made substantial bathrooms, surrounded by a park like atmosphere. It was exquisite.

They added on a family room and two story garage that didn't destroy the lines too much, but it is what they did with the rest of it that ruined it for me. Every surface, including the window sills and the check rails, the wainscoting, mantles, and furniture is now drowned in knickknacks. All sitting shoulder to shoulder to display, not its color or shape, because that is lost in the clutter, but its sheer volume.

The beautiful antique quilts that once adorned the beds and a wall or two now hang in mass profusion up and down the walls, halls, and rooms. The lovely Tiffany lamps are crammed up against so much stuff they just look like blobs of light in the darkness. The expensive furniture no longer invites you into rooms that are warm and elegant. The house feels more like one of those warehouse antique stores along the highway.

It is a sad, and sort of disgusting display of money gone bad. I don't know what it means. Perhaps all this stuff is an attempt to fill some sad void, or maybe it is just crass consumerism which seems to be in vogue now. I do know it reflects who they are, Trump supporters who proudly voted for a man whose misogyny, racism and bigotry cannot be good for their beautiful young granddaughters and African American grandson.

Money cannot buy clean air, peace, or equality. When the climate begins to change, causing floods, droughts, warm winters promoting bacteria and germs, too hot summers . . . When the first animals begin to die from lack of hospitable places to live . . . When the dictators and other unstable leaders in the world whip out their dirty bombs and point them at their antagonizers . . . no amount of money will help in the long run.

I will no longer mourn the loss of their beautiful home, because our beautiful earth will also be ruined.

The beautiful thing about my death is  that I will not have to mourn me and if others do -- then I am blest.

Death is the one thing I do not need to worry about. At least not my own.

(This was not meant to be out here yet, but since two people have already looked at it, I will leave it.)

Kindness personified

I have discovered the Tao of Bestest.

I didn't just discover it. It came to me as a disembodied voice for a while. Then it materialized in the shape of a comely young boy and today I realized it has crept into every moment of my being.

Don't tell anyone anything they don't deserve to know.

Be kind.

Love yourself for exactly who you are.

Be kind.

Live life to the nth degree. Suck the nectar right out of it.

Be empathetic, be kind, pay attention.

Be kind.

Some people have their Pooh, others their Piglet, and a few, the Tao Te Ching.

But I have the Tao of Bestest.

Practice

How do you stop a martyr from being a martyr?

Practice. Practice. Practice.

I swear, there are people who stand in front of the mirror rehearsing martyrdom.

Trying on hair shirts.

Tying concrete blocks to their backs.

No matter what they have to do, they can resurrect a reason to suffer, but I can run interference almost equally well.

Cornucopia

Imagine two elderly spinsters and their petite little cousins planning to share their Thanksgiving dinner. It will be elegant. Tablecloths, fancy table settings, and sweetly intimate.

Fearing their brother might find himself alone they decide to share their delicate morsels by inviting him and all should have been happy in Twoville.

But the uncle asks if he can bring his former wife and, of course, they say, "Yes! An extra plate is no trouble at all."

Of course after that he has to ask if she can bring her housemate who will otherwise be all alone on such a holiday and they graciously invite her too.

Soon after that he calls to say his youngest son has nowhere to go, can he come too? And the ladies begin to readjust the furniture and food in their minds, wondering exactly how they might graciously manage to stretch things this far on their limited budget.

Thanksgiving Day finally arrives, bringing the four original ladies together ready to greet five linebackers worthy of the Green Bay Packers. The dainty dinner has now expanded to feed five extra people whose shoulders barely fit through the dining room door, whose average height is a bit over 6' 1", whose average weight is somewhere around 250 pounds each!

The food, originally planned to feed four average to small people begins to look like a reproduction of the first Thanksgiving. Now there are two tables, a turkey, a ham, vats of potatoes and stuffing, cauldrons of noodles along with several pumpkin pies, two bowls of cranberries, baskets of rolls, tons of Irish butter, and gallons of vegetables . . .

and they hoped there was enough.

As ye sow, so shall ye reap

I am so disappointed in the voters. The ones who voted for Trump because of their racist views. The ones who voted for him because of their belief that Christianity is better than other religions. The ones who think they know better than God who should love who. The ones who have forgotten that we are a nation of immigrants. The ones who didn't bother to vote because it didn't further their particular personal views.

I am terrified that the people who voted for Trump will be disappointed in what they get and take matters into their own hands. And I am also terrified that they will reap what they sowed, because the rest of us will also suffer at the hands of those sowers.

Whenever hate becomes the by word of a country: when reason is fueled by getting even: when scapegoats come into vogue: when violence is more or less acceptable as long as it is against the right people, we know what is going to happen.

History is not some oral tradition that can be modified by a crafty word monger. It is written in blood and bones and buried in cemeteries and trenches all over the world.

Fear vs Fear

I think polling people about their choice of candidate might have been more accurate if they had asked the following question instead of who are you voting for?

Your neighbor's dog is barking night and day. It threatens your children, tears up your yard. What do you do?
 
1. Call Animal control.  (These are Clinton people.)
2. Shoot the damn thing. (These are Trump people.)

People used to dealing with things on their own, especially in rural areas, now feel even more validated by the idea that violence has its rightful place in the world.

After an election fueled by blaming different groups of people for all the woes of the world, it seems like an easy fix to simply get rid of those people and their ways.

Bestest says I need to remember these people were driven to these thoughts and actions by fear, but it terrifies me when I think of the things they might do now.

It is really scary to think of two opposing factions, both feeling like they are backed into a corner in fear for their lives, one trying to use due process and the other wanting the instant justice they feel they were promised.

Sadly ever after

Believing they have been elected king of the castle, Leisure suit Larry and Mengela have begun to pick the new knights of the triangle table.

A terrifying group of pretenders who think that if you're rich you really really know, they clamor around their king, hoping to scavenge two hundred years worth of blood, sweat, and tears.

Their eyes have seen the glory of the coming of their Lord and the dark tower glows with the power of the egos filling up its space while the wise men, the teachers and good people of the land cringe with shame.

Surely sadly ever after cannot be the legacy of a country whose people elected a new leader and lost to technicalities.

I'll take the high road

I watched in shock as Americans elected Trump yesterday and I think the hardest part is knowing that people I know voted for him.

The only way I can make it better for me is knowing that Democrats are going to take the higher road. We will use whatever we have to try and counteract any hateful acts we can.

I sincerely hope he finds a way to be a good leader now that he is in office, our country relies on him. With all three branches falling in behind him, there can be no excuses now.

At the worst, he will drag us down pathways no one ever dreamed of and even those with little education will be eager to usher in a more empathetic, compassionate and rational party in four years.

Sometimes the Phoenix must crash and burn before it can rise from the ashes and soar.

Eden

The plague that slithers over this land has left a trail of slime that will take months to wash away, if we are lucky.

It is possible that it will spawn maggots that will continue to try and eat away at truth, empathy and compassion for years to come, but I hope not.

I hope today marks the beginning of the light, the new age of reason, the day that the majority opened their eyes and their hearts to the possibilities surrounding us all the time, but hidden from view by the sulfurous cloud emitted by the fear of those who cannot, or will not open their eyes and hearts.

Eden has never left. It has only been desecrated by those who feel it is an elitist club for the people who worship gold and power.  Flush out the entitlement and judgemental attitudes, allow each and everyone of us to live and love in peace, and perhaps even make a small space for those who cannot abide this kind of blessing off in some distant corner, and we could find ourselves in the golden age of humanity.

Why do we let a minority ruin it for all the rest?

The ride

Is it my imagination or does life move on faster and faster?

Like a train:

racing downhill through terrain so lovely it takes my breath away

through fields so filled with horror I dare only peek for fear of losing my mind.

over bridges where to actually touch the earth would be too much for my mortal soul.

And onward.

With an ever changing group of fellow passengers whose presence magnifies, minimizes and covers up bits and pieces along the way making it a fugue in D minor at 24/16 time one minute and a heart throbbing love song the next.

One long day

This day was one of those unbelievably bad days. My car was rear ended at a red light. I was inadvertently pushed off my feet into a display at a department store by a man buying luggage. And then a huge man stepped backward onto my foot!

My car is a mess, but insurance should take care of it and it is drive-able. My body and foot are a little bruised, but fine and I had a great start to the day by having breakfast with friends at a fund raiser for autism, followed by a wonderful day with my sister and her granddaughters.

Still the election managed to loom up over and over, dulling the day even more than the accident, so it was good to open Facebook and find a beautiful posting by Bestest doing what he does best.

A charming, humorous, sweet combination of words that still managed to say, with exacting hard truth,why we need to be with HER in this election.

The bedrock fundamentals of empathy, diversity, love and tolerance are on the line and it is up to those of us who believe these things are important to vote for Hillary.

Wishes

Wouldn't it be great if wishes really came true?  If you could blow out your birthday candles and get even that one wish granted?

If I could send you wishes wrapped up in paper and tied with bows, I would.
 
I close my eyes and wish with all my heart that your wishes all come true.

I wish for you and you wish too and with all that wishing some of them are bound to come true.

So wish often and wish hard, but most of all wish wisely.

And when you have an idea that might help that wish along?

Use it, because that might just be what jump starts it all.

Adventures

Frolicking in the autumn mists has kept me young, but the thought of sitting next to Puff in his comfortable cave: drinking tea and eating crumpets for all eternity?

I'd rather live forever, a large gray haired child playing in gramma's attic.

Holding Roo's hand, listening to the wisdom of a large stuffed bear, and knowing that dreams are the time machines and magic carpets of the young at heart.

Smelling hope in a bouquet of weeds, drawing big words in the shape of a heart, and having adventures that skid straight past the bullies and into the mists.

When the wild rumpus begins I want to wear a crown and lead the good guys to the big rock candy mountain where we can build gingerbread houses and hide out together baking cookies to repair our walls.

I never want to grow bigger than that.

Great minds

My best friend in college saw herself running in slow motion across the quad. Her boy friend stood there watching her gracefully leaping and landing, her long blonde hair flowing behind her like a ray of sunshine as birds twittered quietly and their favorite song wafted through the air.

Bestest wanted to do something to loosen up his American Lit. class. The day after Halloween he envisioned the perfect plan, running into class and throwing a handful of candy up in the air so it could rain down upon them and break the ice.

I wanted to make my son's birthday party an innovative, moving experience. The theme was a circus and I saw streamers of all colors revolving in the air over the table. I carefully taped brightly colored crepe paper to our ceiling fan and flipped the switch!

My friend stubbed her toe and tripped gracelessly across the lawn landing on her face at her startled boy friend's feet.

Bestest injured several students as the candy knocked off glasses and hit people in the eye.

The fan sucked up the crepe paper in one almost instantaneous flash.

The best ideas in reality and movies are often united only by laughter.