Civilization

I sometimes wonder what our world will look like five thousand years in the future.

Will it be shocked that we enslave animals and make them them do tricks for food?  Or eat them?

Will the Twilight Zones of their time feature us as urban cavemen whose main forms of enjoyment depend on the misery of other living creatures, both human and animal?

Will their incredulity over our insane biases against who people love make for historical romances?

Or will we have mutated into an mature civilization mirroring this one where there is a total intolerance for anything and anyone who isn't financially superior?

Will there be two levels of law.  One for the more sensitive rich and another for the unfeeling poor. 

Civilization - the concept makes me think.

And sometimes - shudder.

Something is missing

Life is a series of decisions.  Nothing is ever forever, except maybe death.

There is both comfort and worry in these thoughts.

If I make a wrong decision, or if my thoughts on something change, it is okay.  They are bound to change again.

Learning from my mistakes should make life better.

So what am I missing?

Will

If greatness knows itself, so does darkness.

The antipathy of some feelings rivals that of a solar eclipse within the mind of a creative person.

Scenes, as yet unwritten, strut and fret their hour upon a personal stage that becomes a rack for the mind. 

I close my eyes wishing that light seeking light were simply enough and not some dire prophecy that supports the darkness.

Equality

In a world of brute force, the smaller creature must either be very wily or very submissive.  So, it stands to reason that successful women are the product of years of evolution.

When Alley Oop's uncle brought home the bacon his wife discovered fire so she could cook it for him just the way he liked it.  Her predecessors were long since the victim of his club and would produce no more heirs.

Technology has evened the playing field.  A six year old can read and push buttons, strength has nothing to do with it.  Today we buy our bacon, so the one with the most money is now in charge.

I wonder what it will take to conquer this obstacle to equality?

An old story

Manipulation becomes an art in the hands of some people. 

Used for the right purposes it creates ambassadors, but in the hands of others it is insidious.

They weave pictures out of tears and sad stories, dole out money for Pleasure Island and then escort their beguiled victims into ruin.

Softhearted, innocent, kind and compassionate people fall head over heels for these people until it is too late. 

While the Blue Fairy and Gepetto watch from afar, a life teeters on the edge again and again.

It's an old old story of temptation and ruin.

Disappointment is hard

Disappointment is a difficult thing to deal with, but I suppose it is part of everyone's life.

I try to insulate myself as much as possible and sometimes that is not enough.

What I do then is withdraw, pull in, and wait for it all to pass.

Luckily, for me, that usually isn't too long.

The strength of love

The love in me wells up, a tsunami of feelings ebbing just before it flows in and drowns me.

I cannot imagine living without it, but the power terrifies me as well.

This love has a life of its own, the strength to carry me through unbelievable darkness.

Sparkling and twinkling in unexpected glints of understanding.

Complicated beyond control, it is a lesson in giving.

Adventures

I remember watching Route 66 on television and dreaming of spending my life traveling around the country having adventures.  It seemed very sophisticated and meaningful, but I was just slipping  into my teenage years.

I was also part of a big close warm family and busy going to school.  I had friends, my music, books and so many possibilities.

The richness of my life hid the emptiness of a life without all those things.  It never occurred to me that without children and family, purpose and responsibility, life might feel shallow.

Now I am living the dream.  I get to do the traveling while still reaping the benefits of a solid foundation here at home.  I don't have to search for meaning.  My life is firmly attached to a lifetime of meaning.

The adventures are just the icing on the cake.

Spice

Change is difficult for some people and exciting for others.

Of course the reason for the change makes all the difference in the world.

Or, perhaps it is the reasoning behind the change that really makes the difference.

When change is imminent, or unavoidable, it helps to find as many positives as possible.  Doing that turns most things into a welcome adventure for me.

Variety should always be one of the main spices in life.  It keeps me on my on my toes.

Ready to jump for joy, or sprint for cover.

The legend of the fall

I flew through the air with the greatest of ease. Landing on two hands and both of my knees.  The landing was stunning, but I thought I was okay.  Got up and worked kindergarten registration for the rest of the day.

Yesterday was my day in the kindergarten library.  I shelved books, checked them out, the day was  quite ordinary.  I helped in the computer lab, bending over was strain, by the end of the day I felt such a drain.

Today I woke up and I totally knew -- that my knee was quite swollen and my foot was hurt too.  My back has a twinge, my shoulders are sore.  I'm too old for gymnastics like this anymore.

Inside and out and all the way through

It is lovely to be a beautiful woman, but today's definition is so much different than it was sixty years ago when I was four.

Back then little girls wore curls, long ones, lots of them.  Mothers dressed their daughters in white pinafores and smocked dresses.  Looks were almost everything. 

I was raised to be polite, accomplished.  I learned to do crossstitch at four and was "finished" as a teenager.

I was also counseled to make people feel comfortable, especially men, or boys.  I was supposed to  reflect the best of everyone back at them.

It was good to be a good student, well-read, informed, but the only people I could out-shine were other girls.

My education was wound over, around and through whatever it took to make myself a good wife and mother.  There was a standard joke back then.  Men went to college to get their BS, women to get their MRS.

I have found my place in this world and I am truly happy, but I want so much more for my granddaughters.  I want them to know they are beautiful inside and out and all the way through.

Dig deeply

The magic comes through us.  Creatures filled with possibilities unknown and unbelieved.

Doubt is our greatest enemy, dulling the edges of intellect and hope and joy that are tucked deep down inside everyone of us.  Stealing the moment and the future in one fell swoop, it takes up space better used for better things.

Plan.  Create.  Dream.   Tap into all those layers that are you and then dredge them up and make them real.

We are incredible creatures designed to seek our own levels and the most satisfied, happiest, content among us have done just that.

It doesn't matter how mundane the world believes we are, each of us has a place and it is integral to us and humanity whether it lasts for a moment or a lifetime.

Erosion

Time is one of those inexorable things.  Like it or not, it passes stolidly onward continually eroding the past to make way for the future.

The good news is that the bad things in the past become softer, cloudier, less distinct and painful.  The bad news is that the past does these same things to the good things.  Loving faces, once so brilliant and present, become loving memories whose scent washes over me in lighter and lighter waves.

 The  present must become my main focus because it lays the way for what is to come.  Unless I keep this path clean and clear there will be no room for all the little discoveries that continually pop up in my life.

Of course in the long run I discover that I too am being constantly eroded, changed, aged -- to perfection I hope!  Each day brings subtle changes in both my body and mind, not to mention my environment.

My most fervent wish is that I am open to all the wonderful possibilities that lie before me and simply appreciative of those that lie behind me.

In memory of Monday

When I was a child holidays were amazing days scattered throughout the year.

Lincoln was born on February 12th.  Washington on the 22nd.  Columbus Day was October 12th.  St. Patrick's Day was March the 17th and there were songs written about that! 

Memorial Day was called Decoration Day and we went out to the cemetery to decorate the graves with baskets of flowers cut from Grandma's garden.

School days preceding a holiday were filled with all sorts of projects based on which one was coming up.  By the time I had the day off I knew why -- often in great detail.  And if I wasn't sure about anything it was a pretty sure thing that I would find out during the day as the adults in my life dropped comments about what it meant to them.

Holidays were a big deal!  Not just a day for partying and drinking, for reveling and having fun, although those things happened too.  There was a sense of awe surrounding anyone, or anything, important enough to have their own day dedicated just to them/it.

 We weren't too sophisticated to play the appropriate music, wave the right flags, drop a tear or two in memory.
 
We began celebrating most holidays on Monday so working people could have a long weekend. (Umm...kind of like Labor Day?)  Then we moved everything back a bit further into the actual weekend in case it rained, which kind of made sense if you were promoting a commercial event that required lots of money to put on and lots of people to make it worthwhile.

Mondays had their hey day and now appear to be recovery days from weekend holidays.  Since weekends were holidays for many people from the get go.  It feels like we lost something here.

In the beginning

There are pivotal moments in life and then there are those moments that only seem pivotal.

Having the wisdom and patience to wait until I know which is which makes a tremendous amount of difference.

Having written that I am beginning to see a common thread running throughout my thots lately.  Perhaps wisdom is really the beginning of understanding that patience is my most valuable asset.

I once waited for thirty years for something better to come along and when it did I thought my world had ended.

When it had only just begun.

Have patience

Children are born to play and everything is a game to a young child. 

Patience and time produce what appear to be astounding results, when they are really just perseverance.

If a child can learn to talk he can learn colors, letters, shapes, and millions of other things.  Like a lovable little sponge he soaks up whatever is before him.

The limits are set mostly by the interest of both parents and child.

Love really has no limits.

Hatching time

Into each life a little silence needs to fall. 

This is where dreams are born, where ideas start to form, where the best things in life begin.

All people need time to just be, but especially children.  We do them a disservice if the television, or radio, or even the stereo is always on. 

In fact, just having a bunch of people around can wear on a person's temper and peace of mind.

After a week filled with friends and Grammy and workmen around the house I found my two year old grandson sitting on a box in his room quietly looking at me.  He looked very happy, so I asked what he was doing.

Getting up he showed me.

He was sitting on his nest waiting for his baby to hatch.

Family time

There is nothing like eating a fine meal in a beautiful restaurant.

My granddaughter charms everyone in her little red sweater dress and black leggings.  She has on her best manners and brother does too.

Going out to eat is a time honored family tradition and these two have it down pat.  They know what they like to eat and they get down to the business of eating it with forks almost as big as they are.  In between the comments on the pictures and other decorations, they tell funny little stories and listen quietly as the grown-ups visit.

They aren't perfect, but if all children were like this, people would welcome them everywhere.
 
It doesn't require little geniuses.  It only requires patient parents who are ready, willing, and able to  teach them by example and perseverance.  Young children want to please, but they have to know how to do it.

Playing Grammy

I am amazed at the tenacity of small children.  Everything is interesting and entertaining to them. 

A bag of doll dishes keeps either a boy or girl entertained for hours.  Just discovering the pieces one at a time, then having tea parties, or building with them and finally having tea parties with all the stuffed animals.

Then we did puzzles!  A two and three year old can do incredibly difficult puzzles.  All 50 states, big jigsaw puzzles of 24 - 60 pieces and they will do the same ones over and over and over.  I brought new ones and they were thrilled.

We went to lunch and my granddaughter was ecstatic.  She thought the water glasses were just lovely with the light shining through the ice.

Even bath time was awesome.  They have floating musical xylophone keys to play and letters and numbers to stick to the walls and we made up all kinds of songs to as well as singing Three little Fishes while swimming in the "ocean."

Now they are snuggled up in sleeping bags next to where I will sleep tonight since I am babysitting while mommy and daddy go out for a while.