I looked at life from both sides

The smaller the world, the fewer the options.  If everyone around me is a grandma raising grandchildren that seems like the norm to me. 

If I am simply trying to garner popularity votes I give children whatever they want.

"The norm" reflects my place in the local pecking order.  I can believe whatever I choose and justify nearly anything that is common where I live.

When I step out of this world and look back at life from the universe, things change.

It becomes less about me and more about everyone else.

My actions become less "self" centered and more thoughtful.  Each one has far reaching results that affect people for years, even lifetimes to come.

As individuals we have a huge amount of power. Knowing the difference between using that power for our own comfort levels and the good of those around us requires a little thought.

USPS

Today I confirmed what I already knew.

The people who deliver mail in our neighborhood don't even attempt to contact the person who needs to sign for it.

They simply drop off a slip and move on confident that most people here are at work, or school.

Then I have to set up a "time" to have it redelivered, which means at least two more days.  Or I can go pick it up at the post office in the morning.

I went there long after she had quit delivering in our neighborhood tonight and they claimed they wouldn't have it until morning, but that I could have it at 8:30 AM.  (We'll see how that works out.)

I have always suspected this is what happens, but this time I know because I was texting less than eight feet from that door by her time.  I did not go to the bathroom.  I did not have the television on.  I did not hear the doorbell.  I did not get my package.

Moments

Live in the moment.  Live in the moment.  Live in the moment.

This is the mantra of most ascetics and people trying to be more mindful.  I try to be that way too.

But it occurs to me that all time is made up of moments, so perhaps it depends on who you are -- which moment you choose to be in.

If your life seems awful to you, perhaps you prefer to dwell in other moments.

If your life is awe full, this one will do quite nicely.

Perspective.  It always boils down to perspective.  Looking past the all the "stuff" we carry with us and seeing a situation for what it's worth is an art and like all arts, one that requires some practice and skill.

It isn't always easy to see the truth when it's up close and personal.  And the beauty of truth can be lost in the discomfort of its recognition sometimes.  Comfort zones can create incredible camouflage.

I look in the mirror and see what I want to see, or expect to see, then wonder why the world reacts so much differently than I think it will.  Continuity depends on truth.

A moment is forever if it is painful, but understanding can bring a surcease of sorrow, a moment of clarity that will ease the way in the future.

Moments are life's greatest teachers.

Amazing Gracie

People tend to surprise me.  I think I know who they are.  Lots of people think they know, but they have no idea.

That quiet little woman who knits scarves and volunteers in her retirement has a whole life no one knows about.

She blows away preconceived ideas with the whisper of a breath. 

She embraces the dreams that come to her and allows them to grow.

She holds her secrets close, sharing them only with those who deserve to hear them, and lives the fairy tale others only dream of.

Her smile is not just that of a life well lived, it is the smile of a life lived now!

Soul searching

The dearly departed lies, hands folded, eyes closed in stiff formality.  She looks vaguely familiar but if I didn't know whose funeral I was at, I would not recognize her.

Most funerals are like this for me.  There is something really gone when someone dies.

It is not just flesh and blood and bone that make up a human being.  There is something very important about the battery that runs it.  Whether you call it spirit, or soul, or animating substance, that force that causes the autonomic nervous system to function on its own takes something besides life with it when it leaves.

I see that at funerals and it makes me wonder . . .

Does this force dissipate when the body dies?  Does it go to heaven?  And if it does, how does it get there, where is it, what does it look like?

What if there is an invisible sphere where loose souls go to rest until another invisible sphere connects it with another soul and they drop back into time -- as friends, or mates, or even one unique individual?

Recycled souls, old souls, soul mates, by any name, unique individuals with connections that surpass understanding.

It's not a new idea, but it is a fascinating one and great fodder for a story.

The essence of you

How often do I hear someone say, "Oh, you should have seen, or heard . . ."

Unless we are the only two people around I can barely process that.

I hear the words, or read them and I understand, but I don't really register them.

I am usually so wrapped up in the people where I am that everything else feels sightly surreal.

It's not that I don't care.  It is simply that I am intensely focused on the person I am with.

In that moment they are my world.

Long ago that could be interrupted by a child's scream, but I no longer have to worry about children most places anymore, so now I have the luxury of soaking up every bit of essence from the person in front of me.

That is my gift to me.

Acts of love

"I love you."  The words come easy. People say them all the time.

Given too easily and taken back again and again, these words can leave their object thinking they are as common as the snowflakes that fall from the skies. . . and just as likely to melt away.

But everyone should hear them said the way they were meant to be.  Nothing could be sweeter,  more beautiful, more enlightening.

They warm hearts that were formerly frozen.  They raise spirits so high that the body walks on air.  They bring light into the darkest places.

The acts of love are simple ones: caring, simple caring --  really caring.

The sweetest life

The music of Christmas sets the tone for the whole season.  It is the music of love in all its many forms.

I think almost everyone loves music, of some kind, but it has always had a special place in my heart.  My mother said I would only fall asleep to Burl Ives singing Big Rock Candy Mountain and Yankee Doodle as a toddler.  She played those little yellow records over and over.

I learned to play the piano and sang my favorite songs at the top of my lungs and later I learned to play other instruments.

My favorite music is that sung by the people I love -- in person, on CDs, or recorded just for me on my phone or computer.  As I am writing this I am playing Christmas songs played, sang and recorded just for me! 

Life can be so sweet.

Imagine

Oh!  The inexpressable comfort of defying all odds! 

The joyful abandonment of all worrying!

Imagine being fine with exactly who I am -- even on my worst day.

It took me a while to get to this place.  It really was a long and winding road.  There were no maps, no directions, no striving and really not even any arriving!

One day I just realized we were . . .

and are. . .

and will be. . .

and that was that!

How to spot an elf

 I have it on good authority that Santa's elves sometimes choose to retire.

Why?  I'm really not sure, but I have heard that elves work so hard and so long they have no time to start families of their own, so if they want to do that -- they retire!

Once retired an elf grows just a bit taller, but you can still spot most of them because they are always a little bit shorter and much jollier than other humans you run into.

And . . . they never out grow their love of Christmas!

No matter what else they do --  like marry regular humans, or get advanced degrees and teach school, or even have little half elf-lings -- retired elves celebrate Christmas like no one else you've ever met!

They decorate their trees from top to bottom  --  and twice in between.  They buy so many presents you have to take naps while opening them all.

And . . .I hear they run around the house wearing bells on their toes just because Santa will be there soon!

Once in a while, a very seldom once in a while, one of their elf-lings is born more elf than human and it is said they are quite charming.  These special little creatures love holidays more than even regular children.  They are cute beyond understanding, but full of impish little impulses and their mothers, teachers, aunts and uncles never know quite what to do with them.

Elf spotting is an art, but you can learn to do it -- if you really want to!

Drama

If a million heroes slayed a trillion dragons and conquered a zillion trolls, most of us would still find reasons to wear our smiles upside down.

Charmed  by television shows and movies and even fairy tales, people have become drama junkies.

Until the scales fall from my eyes, I will believe that sadness and other feelings come from outside of me..

But outside events are only the catalysts, the little diggers and daggers that prick me and set free those things inside that make me me.

Most feelings are picked out of the pot of gold lying inside my mind.  I pour them through a learned set of name tags and come up with all sorts of agony, but I could rethink this process --  rename these feelings and find myself much more content.

Drama is highly over rated.

Photographs

I take your picture and you take mine

both our smiles turn out sublime.

It's not the subject.  It's not the pose.

It's just the love bouncing off your nose!

Influence

I love what I do, but sometimes I find myself annoyed with poorly reared children.

All children misbehave.  That's why they are children!  They are still learning all the rules and regulations.  It can even be very cute.

Attitude is something else.  Parents teach attitude by the way they interact with and around their children.  It is not a child's fault if she is catty or feels entitled.  Not at the age I work with.

It is important for people to realize how influential they are in a child's life.  Teaching them to be thoughtful and kind, to be considerate -- is an investment in their future. 

Real self esteem does not need to be loud, or pushy, or needy.

Life is beautiful

Whatever I am born into seems the most natural thing in the world.

My values, my expectations, my whole belief system is neatly packaged and presented to me as the absolute.  To change any of it is unthinkable and yet . . .

I will grow and growth is sometimes disturbing, painful, enlightening -- it  is so many things, not the least of which is -- inevitable.

That tiny nuclear family I was born into expands and all the little seeds planted inside of me begin to grow until I am one unique and wonderful being among a whole world of other unique beings.

I need to remember that everything else grows too.  The possibilities are endless.  There are as many ways to live as there are people and nothing is truly impossible if it is meant to be.  In the words of a famous little fish, "Just keep swimming."

I keep falling into the most amazing situations and every time I think something is impossible I am proved wrong.

Life is beautiful.

Angels among us

There are so many stories of angels coming down to earth, especially at Christmas.  They come as beautiful women, old men, sardonic characters and sickly sweet parodies.

Of all the things we expect, or want, our "perfect" people must be bigger than life.  We need the grand slam, the big event, the experience that is accompanied by trumpets and drum rolls and rising crescendos.

Uniforms are optional, halos, wings, glowing lights, shimmering visages surrounding euphoric smiles.  Whatever it is that makes angels angels must be different from us.

We want them to be mythical!

But they are real and reality has no need to outshine my imagination.  It does not need to wow me with its grandeur, or grab the attention of the world by being special.

Opportunities to be and do wondrous things present themselves all the time.  It is up to me to grab the moment at hand and make the most of it.

Tiny acts done with great love out shine the most amazing super beings.

Gifts

The gift of people is a never ending fountain of wonder.

I look at the world day after day, but one day I look at it through the eyes of a five year old and suddenly there are miracles everywhere.

The mundane ceases to exist.

The world is sweeter, sillier, more dangerous and darling.

I am set free of the confines of sixty four years and once more the child I maybe never was.

Each person is different, even if they came wrapped up with bows on their heads it could be no more obvious.

I look into the eyes before me and Santa Claus smiles back.

A recipe for contentment

Measure the world in minutes, in single or double digits

In Christmas songs and laughter, in sounds of joyful patter.

Color it with looks, with understanding, love and books.

Divide it into distances, two arms and two hands wide

And tie it all together with the things you can confide.

Knoxville memories

Up and down the Knoxville hills
In misty mindful ways.
Slipping in and out of reveries
and the drama of today
A little boy takes his father's hand
Another his father's heart
And still another sorts out his part
On this hilly rainy walk.

Closeness

How close are we?

Holding onto someone tighter doesn't bring them closer.  Closeness is a feeling more than a distance.  I can be on the other side of the world and right in the middle of your heart.

Or I can be in your arms chaffing to get away.

Follow your bliss

Joseph Campbell said to follow my bliss.  That seemed like good advice, but I wasn't quite sure what to do with it.

Now, I realize it is a progression.  Like a symphony building up to the crescendo, bliss starts out small and quiet and becomes an unavoidable focal point.  An inescapable, fundamental, beautiful way of living that simply takes over.

I am not manufacturing bliss, I am truly following it and it leads me into places I never dared to dream of.